Pickles and Depredation: Flare Game (PaD 2)
by NuclearCookout
Summary: Raozya continues his explosive path as a Trainer! The unusual powers of his depraved Espurr, Joas, have been noticed by Team Flare, prompting a pulse-pounding chase through the cyberpunk megalopolis of Camphrier Town. Can they survive? Is it possible to make an Eevee use Self-Destruct? Will Raozya ever taste another pickle? (X/Y. Rated T for violence. Matrix references aplenty.)
1. Chapter 1

"You're mine!"

Raozya chucked a Poké Ball at his latest defeated foe, a poodle-like Furfrou that was just about out of energy. The fluffy dog creature could barely stand, yet a glint of murderous desire continued to imbue its eyes. It still had some fight left, but not enough energy to put it into motion. All it could do was wait for the inevitable conclusion of its freedom in the grassy field and the commencement of its servitude to its new master.

Raozya's victorious Fennekin, Napalm, stood in a confident pose while attempting to catch its breath from the furious battle. An aura of passionate frustration was radiating from the Furfrou—this pleased Napalm. It would probably give its new friend the usual hazing before accepting it as a member of the team.

The Poké Ball collided with the Furfrou's forehead with a _WHACK_, robbing it of consciousness and allowing it to be sucked unhindered into the little spherical storage device as a vortex of energized particles.

"I actually witnessed the moment when his soul was crushed. It was beautiful."

Raozya turned his attention to the source of the remarkably dark statement. Joas, his impish-natured Espurr, was relaxing on a nearby tree branch...upside-down. The small psychic feline was most likely doing it just to show off, leading Raozya to cock a skeptical brow. "Don't tell me you swept up the pieces?"

"Too small, not enough flavor. I don't have that ability, anyway, but it is on my to-do list."

Raozya sighed in relief and called Napalm back into its Ball. "Good. The last thing I need is for my new Pokémon to have a brush with madness. It was already a hair away from tears."

Joas directed his eerie, vacant gaze to his master, who didn't witness the stare but did feel his skin begin to crawl. The former noticed a tiny smirk on the latter's face. "Are you making hair puns? Really? I knew you were barbaric, but you're cutting it close to outright savagery."

Raozya waved a hand in dismissal of Joas' comment. "Shave your criticism for later. I'm too hungry toupee attention."

He watched with glee as the Poké Ball containing his Furfrou disappeared as a stream of energy, darting off into the distance in the direction of The Jolly Pirate's Supply Crate. It was a supermarket that doubled as a Pokémon Center, and that was where his career as a Pokémon Trainer had begun. He only hoped the people who worked there knew what they were doing.

Joas could do nothing but cringe from the bad puns. _It hurts...IT HURTS._ "I'll have to introduce you to my taxidermist sometime..."

The blood within Raozya's veins went cold. "Uhh—"

"...Because he has an excellent lemon muffin recipe. You said you were hungry, so it brought back some cheerful memories." _Take that._

As a Zoroark disguised as a human, Raozya considered the word "taxidermist" to be rather unnerving. He wasn't against the fur industry, but he had heard all the stories about Team Rocket's treatment of sentient Pokémon such as himself. That's what the TV had said, anyway; it had been the subject of an episode of a late-night conspiracy theory show, but he certainly wouldn't put it past those goons. _I know better than to watch those programs before bed._ "Y-yeah. Some other time. Let's take a break, then catch one more Pokémon and then we can go have lunch. I know a seafood place we haven't been to yet."

It had been four days since Raozya had started his journey as a Pokémon Trainer. He had spent nearly all of his time training the Pokémon he had caught, as well as capturing several more thanks to Joas' Lovecraft-style psychic attacks. While Raozya was happy with what he had caught, he was looking for a greater diversity of types for his roster. As it stood, the majority were Normal type.

What excited him even more was the prospect of capturing other Pokémon Trainers. Upon further research, as well as field testing over the previous few days, he had concluded that the standard Poké Ball was insufficient to capture a human. Something was preventing it from recognizing humans as a legitimate target for storage, and he was determined to find out what it was and how to bypass it. This would be one of his primary goals over the next few weeks.

Joas floated down from his branch and landed next to Raozya. "A break requires a snack. This will prepare us for a larger feast at the restaurant. An appetizer, if you will."

Raozya tried to ignore the disturbing aura of Joas' dead stare, but he was failing miserably. "Cool. I have some snacks."

"Lime Poppers. I require them."

They moved to an area of shorter grass and took a seat. Raozya slipped off his red backpack and set it in his lap, digging around until he had found a bag of Wacky Uncle Citrus' Lime Poppers. Each bag contained several small, round pastries that had a pleasant crunch, as well as a sour lime flavor so intense that several children across Kalos had required hospitalization to make their lips stop puckering. One child had even imploded as singularity before evaporating as a pleasant-smelling lime mist, but the company had done a good job at covering up that little fiasco.

The warning label failed in all its many doomsaying attempts to convince Raozya and Joas to eat the ambiguously safe treats in moderation. They weren't children, and they certainly weren't cowards. They were _hungry_, and they wished to sample this untasted and tantalizing flavor sensation.

Joas casually popped a Popper into his mouth, biting down into the crispy nugget. He might as well have bitten into a portal to a universe comprised of nothing but concentrated lime essence. The flavor executed a kickboxing tournament on his tongue before forcing its way into his bloodstream like an invading army. _Dear sweet Arceus, it's like an opera in my mouth_.

He actually managed to crack an almost unnoticeable smile due to the homicidal burst of flavor. His eyelid twitched, and this impulse traveled to his left ear, causing it to lift by the barest fraction of an inch.

The resulting psychic pulse made the Sun flicker, but only in their immediate vicinity due to it being a light-warping phenomenon rather than a temporary failure of solar fusion. Mortified, Joas swallowed the Popper and stared into the distance. "My apologies. I usually have more self control."

Raozya silently rejoiced in his decision to wait until Joas had tested the first bite. He could do nothing but imagine himself being crushed down to a speck of subatomic size, and thus opted for a simple pickle instead. If a lesser eldritch abomination such as Joas couldn't handle it, he wasn't going to try his luck. "It happens. There's no telling what they put in these things."

"Probably the tears of forsaken children...not that I know how those taste." He looked away and sheepishly cleared his throat.

Never before had Raozya felt better about having stocked up on sleeping pills. "Okay. How about a pickle?"

A small bag of lemon-flavored hard candies levitated from the top of his backpack and into Joas' lap. The bag opened itself and spat a piece of candy into Joas' paw. "I'm fine."

Raozya's eyebrows furrowed. He brushed off the incident and plucked an oversized pickle from his backpack. Candy could not compare to the raw, savory crunch of a fresh pickle.

The moment the pickle had been unwrapped, Joas turned his attention from his candy to Raozya. "Incoming."

"What do you..."—His eyes went wide—"...NO."

Before Raozya could hide the pickle, it disappeared from his grasp as a brown streak darted by. The culprit Eevee scampered off a short distance to the edge of the clearing and devoured the pickle with haste, then stood its ground and shot a challenging glare at Raozya.

It was war. Raozya considered first going for his large stun gun, the SIMBYL Domination, but he grabbed a Poké Ball instead and reciprocated the Eevee's glare. The stun gun would have made things easier, not to mention more satisfying, but he preferred the extra battle experience. "So nice of you to volunteer for my roster. Cutstab, go! Fury Cutter the ever-loving _Internets_ out of that little thief!"

He chucked the Poké Ball, and his Honedge immediately materialized. Joas was in the middle of an ardent facepalm; he couldn't understand why Raozya had given such an elegant weapon such a ridiculous name.

Defying gravity, Cutstab unsheathed itself with its pommel sash and launched toward the Eevee, spinning like a sawblade. The Eevee jumped over Cutstab, but the latter was well-prepared for this. The Eevee only realized its mistake when it found itself face-first in the grass, having been knocked from the air by the sheath that Cutstab had flung overhead.

Raozya grinned. "Good! Tackle!"

Cutstab swooped back around and slapped the dazed Eevee with the flat side of its blade, knocking it into the ground even harder than before.

"Again!"

The action was repeated, preventing the Eevee from returning to its feet. It wasn't even sure which way was up anymore, allowing it to be sucked into a Poké Ball without effort. The Poké Ball then transformed into energy and shot off toward the Pokémon Center.

This victory was satisfying to Raozya because, despite the fact that Eevee was a Normal type, it could evolve into several different types. Training this one would give him time to decide which type he needed later.

Joas flicked another piece of candy into his mouth and clapped his stubby paws together. "Oh goody, another Normal type. Good thing it can mutate, maybe into a Steel or Bug type."

Raozya called Cutstab back into its Ball. "I don't think those Eeveelutions have been invented yet. If it could evolve into any type, I'd be holding out for a Dragon type. I wonder what that would be called."

"Puff the Magic Eevee? Smaugeon? Perhaps Rayquazeon?"

"Heh, or maybe Goodreon."

"Yes, but hopefully not a large, dripping mass of cholesterol like its namesake."

Raozya rubbed his chin in thought. "That's true. Hey, speaking of cholesterol, I believe I hear the siren call of lunch. I did say 'one more Pokémon' after all."

"Aww, I was just about begin a round of complaining."

The bag of lemon candy sealed itself shut and darted back into Raozya's backpack. Joas' stare somehow intensified despite remaining unchanged in its appearance. Instead of conveying a sense of imminent murder, it conveyed hunger. "Let us expedite our plans for consumption."

Raozya slipped his backpack back on and led the way to the nearest road, Route 7. A flash of light and a _pop_ noise emanated from his belt, and Napalm scampered up its master's back and took a seat upon his head. Raozya didn't think much of it—Napalm had developed a habit of escaping from its Poké Ball so it could get some fresh air and exercise, enjoy the sights, and pretend to be a novelty hat.

The distance between the field they were in and the nearest shops of Camphrier Town was short enough that it would only take ten minutes of walking, and a short distance further to their hotel. Closer still was a small strip mall, and that was where they were heading first.

Raozya pointed a finger toward the middle of the shopping center. "We'll stop by that shop over there first. I have something to take care of."

Joas turned his attention to where Raozya was pointing, seeing a variety of shops. "Oh, well if you feel as though lingerie would suit you better than your current getup, then—"

"Not THAT shop! The one next to it!"

"The health food store?"

"The videogame store."

"To proliferate your budding identity as an otaku?"

Raozya raised his hand for a facepalm, but stopped when he noticed Napalm leaning forward in an attempt to look at the ground. Not wanting to bop his Fennekin on the nose, he rubbed it behind the ear instead, plunging it into a state of drooling bliss. "There's an automated Pokémon swap post in front of it."

"Ah, the place where a beloved Pokémon loses its purpose in favor of a different one, cast aside like an old toy. Favoritism is a cruel mistress."

Joas' comment went unanswered as they approached the machine that sat in front of the store. The boxy machine featured a simple touchscreen near the top and a compartment beneath it. Raozya waved his Pokédex in front of the machine's scanner lens, prompting the computer to respond, "Initializing session for Trainer Rozza Reyo Raozya. You have eleven Pokémon in storage. Please select a Pokémon from the list and place the one you wish to swap into the compartment."

An amused snort nearly escaped Joas' nose; he hadn't heard Raozya's full name up until that point. "Good heavens, with a name like that, you were practically _made_ for Team Rocket."

Raozya had seen that one coming a mile away. "At least it's easy to remember."

He plucked his Sentret's Poké Ball from his belt and placed it in the swap compartment, then selected the Eevee icon on the touchscreen.

• • •

A confirmation _beep_ sounded as Raozya's command traveled to the central computer core of the Jolly Pirate's Supply Crate's PokéCenter section. This colossal underground facility was more of a warehouse than anything, illuminated only by a scant few blue lights that lined row after row of Poké Ball storage towers. Vast and cold, these towers stretched up from the abyssal blackness of the floor to the equally dark ceiling above and were covered in knob-like protrusions.

An expanding curtain of light extended from an ascending metal portcullis on the side of a tower, allowing an automated drone to escape. Like a bee with a mission, the drone propelled itself to a higher altitude and approached one particular knob. It sent out a proboscis-like boom that entered a round port on the knob's surface and sucked a single Poké Ball from the collection within. The boom quickly retracted, and the drone darted back into the blinding light from which it had originated and placed the Poké Ball into a large teleporter.

• • •

The swap machine's Poké Ball compartment sealed itself off with a panel of glass and made a few mechanical buzzing noises. The Poké Ball disappeared in a flash of light, and another Poké Ball materialized in its place shortly thereafter.

The screen displayed a message of thanks, followed by an offer to purchase lottery tickets. Raozya narrowed his eyes and declined.

He grabbed the new Poké Ball and held it ahead of his face, examining it with a sadistic smile. "Hello there, Eevee. Welcome to the team—we need someone with your tenacity, and your taste in food is a bonus. Prepare yourself for the ride of your life." He brought it even closer to his face and spoke in a more hushed voice. "Your goal is to learn Self-Destruct. Can you learn Self-Destruct?"

Joas floated up to Raozya's eye level and stared at him from the opposite side of the Ball. "Do you really intend to teach it _Self-Destruct?_ Have you finally lost the last chipped marble that was aimlessly rattling around in the cavernous void where a brain would normally be?"

Raozya returned the stare with a glare. "It has been my dream to teach Self-Destruct to an Eevee."

"I don't think that's physically possible."

"I shall make possible the impossible, and Eevee will be at the forefront of my campaign!"

Napalm yipped in approval. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Joas had just lost a large chunk of his faith in Raozya. He floated over to the backpack and zipped himself inside. "If you need me, I'll be contemplating life."

"Oh, okay. Don't do that for too long; you might lose your appetite."

Joas muttered something rude under his breath before speaking aloud, "My appetite will not be lost. It's clinging to me like a certain Fennekin."

"And speaking of starvation, I have one more thing to do before we eat."

Joas cringed in disappointment as Raozya walked over to a grassy area and tossed the Eevee's Poké Ball. The small creature materialized in front of him, none too pleased with its capture but no longer furious about it, either. It figured it might as well make the best of its situation; it didn't have anything better to do. Perhaps this Trainer wouldn't be so bad. After all, captivity meant free food, protection from illness, a higher survival rate in fights, plus a loving relationship with its Trai—

"Can you explode?"

The Eevee stared up at Raozya in shock. What it had heard from within the confines of its Ball earlier had been true—it had thought such words were merely a hallucination brought about by the Honedge's beating.

Judging by the lack of a response, Raozya figured he had used the wrong words. "Can you learn Self-Destruct?"

The Eevee shook its head vigorously.

"Are you sure? Can you try? Are you willing to push the boundaries of reality and become a legend amongst your kind? I'll buy you a pickle."

Thoughts swirled around in the Eevee's mind. It wondered if this Trainer was insane...or truly ambitious. At the very least, the pickle was tempting. Reluctantly, it nodded its head.

"Neat. I'm not exactly sure how it works, but focus your mind on explosions. Massive, fiery explosions. Mushroom clouds. Craters. Countless stacks of TNT. Think of all the things that can go off with a big _boom_."

Joas was struggling against the vicious desire to exit the backpack and launch Raozya into the horizon with an unbridled psychic discharge, but he felt that such a thing would be a tad overkill. Instead, he popped his head out from the backpack and peeked over Raozya's shoulder to see if the new recruit would actually make any progress.

Perplexed, but willing, the Eevee focused its thoughts on what Raozya had suggested, all while it squeezed and strained in an attempt to build up pressure.

Nothing but a tiny _poot_ noise resulted, along with a mortified Eevee and a moment of silence.

"Eh, you tried." Raozya called the Eevee back into its Ball and placed it back on his belt. "We'll work on it. I'll get you a pickle when we go shopping after lunch. I'll also give you a name at some point; I can't think of one at the moment."

Joas wasn't sure if he should facepalm or go off in a fit of manic laughter. He compromised with a smirk and descended back into the backpack, having decided to take a nap while waiting for Raozya to reach the restaurant.

They departed the strip mall and began their journey to the place that was sure to cure the emptiness of their stomachs.


	2. Chapter 2

"Your reports have pleased me substantially. Truly this is a mark of competence that I seek within all of my associates."

Two Team Flare agents, clad in red business suits, knelt before the hologram of the shadowy figure that had spoken to them. The room was dark, lit only by the faint glow of the projected image.

The agents responded in unison, "It is merely our job."

"Indeed. I hereby approve of your mission. You may proceed."

The agents stood and saluted.

"It will be carried out," replied one in a monotone voice.

"We shall return with the quarry," responded the other, equally flat.

The shadowy figure returned the salute, and the hologram switched off. This prompted the lights in the room to turn back on, revealing dark gray canvas walls that waved as a breeze passed by. The agents nodded to one another and left the room through a flap in the large tent's wall.

The taller agent, sporting a red pompadour hairstyle that was shaped to resemble a flame, approached a device that sat atop a pedestal just outside of the tent. He pressed a button, causing the entire tent to recede into a canister at the base of the pedestal. The apparatus itself collapsed into a small cylinder that the shorter agent, whose hair was also red and sported a short spiked style, snatched from the ground and placed in the rear of a large red SUV that sat under a tree.

The two agents had been observing Raozya's movements ever since the Trainer had vaporized the Team Rocket grunt on Route 6 four days prior. While his actions had been interesting, it was his talking Espurr, Joas, that the agents were far more interested in. They had reported their findings to their leader, Lysandre, who ordered them to continue their observations and report their results until he could make a firm decision on their course of action.

The taller agent clasped his hands behind his back and observed his associate. "The target is on the move, Miller."

"Then we should offer our assistance at hindrance, Brown."

They nodded once more, donned a pair of sunglasses each, and entered the vehicle, heading off to Route 7.

• • •

Napalm eagerly snapped its head back and forth as the number of city sights increased, filling its eyes and mind with wonder. Raozya set foot upon a paved side street that featured several merchant kiosks and buildings along either curb. The main road, Route 7, was just beyond that, and it was only a short journey further before they would enter the district that held their hotel and the desired seafood restaurant.

They passed the merchant area and entered an alleyway that separated two long sections of three-story buildings that strafed Route 7. At the alley's halfway point, Raozya suddenly found himself airborne, careening forward at high speed with a sharp pain in his back. He hit the pavement hard, rolling and coming to a stop on his side. He jumped up and sprinted off the road to avoid being run over by a large truck, then grabbed onto a light post and struggled to catch his breath. _WHATWHATWHATWHAT?!_

Agent Miller, standing in the short alleyway that Raozya had been launched from, lowered the foot that had just delivered the powerful kick. He threw himself backward a moment later to avoid being flattened by a psychic discharge delivered by Joas, who was floating just above the rooftops. The Espurr had flung himself up there an instant before Raozya had been kicked.

The discharge exploded, leaving a spherical hole where earth and walls had once been and launching debris into the sky. At the same time, Napalm appeared at the end of the alley between Agent Miller and Raozya and unleashed an Ember attack, sending a shower of flames at the attacker. Agent Miller leaped back again and disappeared around the corner, allowing the flames to harmlessly erupt from the alley entry.

Joas turned his attention to Raozya, who was still clinging to the pole in shock. "I believe you have a secret admirer!"

A movement in the corner of Joas' eye prompted him to launch himself backward, missing an airborne net by a fraction of an inch. He eyed the culprit who was standing on the roof, Agent Brown, and charged up another psychic attack. Before he could release it, he was blasted in Raozya's direction by a discharge of electricity fired from the other adjacent rooftop.

Agent Miller, who had used the high-voltage stun gun after making a superhuman jump up to the roof, sprinted to the edge and prepared to fire again. The stun gun bore a striking resemblance to the SIMBYL Domination that Raozya owned, but was nothing more than a knockoff brand.

Everything was happening so fast that Raozya nearly threw himself into traffic in his attempt to catch the flying Joas, stopping himself short of becoming the new bumper of a bus. He jumped as the line of traffic closest to him had cleared enough for him to stand in the road for a few seconds, allowing him to catch the dazed Espurr. Napalm sped across the road and dove into Raozya's backpack right as he made a break for a different alley with Joas cradled in his arms.

Agent Brown and Agent Miller watched as their prey disappeared into a cluster of buildings, undoubtedly heading deeper into the city to lose them. They smirked in unison.

• • •

Sweat dripped from Raozya's body as he panted and puffed, lungs burning as he attempted to catch his breath from the marathon sprint he had just undertaken. His human disguise was blurring sporadically due to his broken concentration. At least the concrete of the overpass support pillar he was leaning on had a delightful cooling effect, complemented by the shade of the road overhead and the breeze blowing beneath it. He just hoped he had lost those Team Flare goons.

"Raozya."

The addressed fugitive looked down at Joas, who was still being cradled in the former's arms. "What?"

"Although I enjoy a good sauna every now and then, I am being saturated by the vile fluids being excreted by your skin. Put me down before I fantasize any further about scrubbing you from the face of the planet."

Finding no logical argument against Joas' ultimatum, Raozya set him down on the sloped concrete surface beneath them. Joas stumbled momentarily before leaning against the pillar.

Napalm popped out of Raozya's backpack and yipped at him, prompting an idea. "Oh! If you want, I can send out Felicity. She's pretty good with soothing a wound."

Felicity, the Audino that Raozya had caught on his first day, had proven to be quite the asset. While it hadn't learned Heal Pulse just yet, its ability to comfort its allies complemented Raozya's personal medicine stash and negated the need for regular visits to a Pokémon Center.

"Oh, please. Those thugs simply caught me off-guard. Nothing but a brief stun and a sting, and I'll be doing much more to them when they return. I don't want that smiling pink blob thing touching me, either. It creeps me out."

Raozya's face went blank. "You mean 'if', not 'when', right? Isn't that kind of pessimistic?"

Joas pointed to a distant part of the road they standing next to. A red SUV was speeding along, doing double the speed limit and weaving in between the other motorists. The occupants of the vehicle could not be seen, but something within Raozya told him that this wasn't going to end well. For a moment, he considered dropping his disguise and firing a Dark Pulse, but that would have needlessly put innocent lives at stake. The only option for now was to run.

Before Raozya could sprint again, Joas took a stand in front of him and held out his stubby arms. His ears, normally folded, began to lift up in unison with the increasing glow of his eyes and the purple aura surrounding him. A swirling orb of Psyshock energy formed between his paws and shot toward the speeding SUV.

The two Team Flare agents threw themselves from their respective doors and landed atop two other vehicles a moment before the Psyshock collided. The front of the SUV crumpled into the pavement before exploding in a brilliant fireball, scattering the nearby vehicles like toys and sending a few of them over nearby rooftops.

Raozya didn't consider himself to be a particularly panicky individual, but any flame of anxiety that had resided in his heart had just been turned into a bonfire. The subsequent shockwave didn't help. "We're murderers."

"And that didn't take care of them."

True to Joas' word, the agents had played hopscotch with the other vehicles, escaping the blast and putting themselves ever closer to their targets. Baffled over the agents' superhuman feats, Raozya unceremoniously crammed Joas into his backpack and made a run for it.

The agents jumped from the roofs of the vehicles and tumbled to the area that Raozya had just been. In unison, they adjusted their sunglasses and smirked before resuming their pursuit with even greater speed.

Due to Joas' sudden presence in the backpack, Napalm fired out of the top as though it was a cannonball, fur standing on end, and landed on Raozya's head.

Joas would have preferred to have his tail stepped on than to suffer the humiliation of Raozya's impulse decision. "You ignoramus! Stop stuffing me in here like I'm a toy! I can fly!"

"Then do so! Maybe you can send another Psyshock at them, but keep the casualties down! For CRYING OUT LOUD, please keep the casualties down!"

Joas hopped out of the backpack and floated high into the air right as Raozya jumped over a fence. They were now in a train yard that held several metropolitan monorail trains, a few of which were moving. Raozya picked the one that appeared to be accelerating and jumped onto the back.

The Team Flare agents treated the fence as little more than a speed bump, leaping over without effort. They spotted Joas in the air and leveled their stun guns, firing at the same time that Joas released another Psyshock attack.

The Psyshock plowed through one stun discharge but missed the other, allowing it to slam into Joas' tiny body. The agents dodged the ball of Psyshock energy moments before it exploded. The blast carved a large crater into the ground, sending chunks of train track rails sailing and managing to derail two nearby trains.

_Who are these people, and why are they so powerful?! For that matter, why is Joas so powerful?!_ Raozya asked himself this while also wondering how Joas had been hit so easily. He watched in horror as the smoking Espurr tumbled out of the sky, and this was not helped by the fact that the train was in the process of leaving the station. "Napalm, go get Joas!"

Despite its reservations, Napalm darted off Raozya's head and retrieved Joas, carrying him by the scruff of his neck back to their master and narrowly dodging another airborne net.

The train continued to accelerate and left the station. Raozya let out a sigh of relief, but was well aware that their issues might not be over. This was confirmed when he saw the very much intact agents charging after the train and actually making progress in catching up, despite the fact that the train was now traveling at the speed of the vehicles on the adjacent highway.

The agents fired off a few more shots, prompting Raozya and Napalm to run further ahead on the train's roof. Joas continued to hang from Napalm's jaws, not quite able to move on his own due to the residual effects of the agent's stun gun. The indignity of his situation gave him nothing less than the desire to fire the agents into a mountain at Mach 50.

The train entered a tunnel that passed through a massive skyscraper, replacing the sunlight with a strobe effect of tunnel lights. Unfettered, the agents ran along the tunnel's bore, making a corkscrew up and over the train and dropping atop it, leaving large impact dents. Raozya lost his footing due to the jolt and nearly rolled off the edge, but steadied himself at the last moment.

Fury ignited within Raozya's eyes. Whoever these guys were and whatever they wanted, it needed to stop. He was exhausted, sick of running, and he craved a pickle like never before. He stood to face the approaching agents and held up his hands, then began to slip off his backpack.

Napalm hopped onto Raozya's back once the backpack had been removed, clinging to his shirt with its claws and keeping Joas secure. The latter felt his energy returning, but it wasn't as fast as he wanted.

The agents slowed their pursuit, and Agent Miller shouted out, "Don't bother with the backpack. All we want is the Espurr."

"Huh? You want money? I have that!"

Agent Brown responded, "No, the Espurr! Give us the Espurr!"

Well aware of what the agent had said, Raozya reached into his backpack with one hand and whipped out the Domination, leveling it on Agent Miller. He then threaded his free arm through one of the straps of his backpack, heaving it back up to his shoulder before gripping the gun with both hands.

The moment the gun's aim had fallen upon the new target, a series of metal plates pulled away from the front half of the gun, exposing inner electronics and giving it a jagged appearance. The heads-up display that was being projected onto his eyes from an aperture on the back of the gun showed the number 591 next to Agent Miller's head. This represented a huge criminal potential in the target, making it possible to use a high discharge setting.

A bright burst of energy escaped the slit-like barrel of his gun, followed by several more as he continued to squeeze the trigger.

In a display of agility that Raozya would have thought impossible, Agent Miller and Agent Brown both dodged every shot, their upper bodies blurring due to the speed of their movements while their legs remained firmly planted on the roof of the train. The wayward shots arrowed out from the entrance of the tunnel and exploded against several buildings in the background. Finding a gap in the swarm of projectiles, Agent Brown steadied himself and snapped off a shot at Raozya.

A sharp, hot pain flared up in Raozya's right hip, causing him to shout and lose his grip on the Domination. His mind became flooded with a sense of panic—he had been hit. The impulse from such an impact caused him to stumble backward toward the edge of the train car.

Joas' body kicked into overdrive, granting him movement. He used his psychic abilities to pull the escaping Domination back toward Raozya while slowing his fall, but this wasn't enough to keep him from going over. At the same time, Napalm dropped from Raozya's back onto the edge of the train car and fastened its jaws onto Raozya's sleeve, preventing its master from disappearing completely over the edge.

The tunnel suddenly ended, exposing the train and everyone atop it to the brilliant sunlight and the dizzying vertical expanse of the inner city. Raozya was now hanging over the edge by his fingers, dangling like a ribbon. Being no fan of heights, Raozya's survival instincts were kicked beyond maximum. He swung a foot into the side of the train car, causing his long Zoroark toe claws to stab through his shoes and into the thin metal siding.

Like the stun charge from earlier, an idea hit him.

Agent Miller and Agent Brown watched as Joas and Napalm disappeared over the side. Surprised, they peered over the edge, but saw no falling bodies. They did, however, notice several small holes further along in the side of the train car, as well as a damaged door.

"Miller, I believe it's time for Plan B."

"I believe you are correct, Brown."

• • •

Raozya and the others slowly but surely made their way into the preceding train cars. He hoped nobody would notice the holes in his shoes, not that most sane people would suspect them of having been worn by a Zoroark. Napalm and Joas were both occupying his backpack, keeping low until the next encounter.

The train jolted hard from the rear, throwing people from their seats and nearly making Raozya stumble to the floor.

Still standing atop the train, Agent Miller chucked another grenade toward one of the trailing train cars. The grenade bounced into the small gap between two segments and exploded just before it could hit the track. The blast lifted the connected ends of the train cars and created a starburst of debris. The three rearmost cars derailed and careened into the busy traffic far below the suspended railway, and the new rearmost car was now positioned at a slight horizontal angle from the track, sending out sparks as its undercarriage dragged against the track without wheels under its back half.

Agent Brown entered Raozya's train car amongst the panicking passengers, initially unseen by Raozya. The Team Flare agent called out, "Mister Raozya, I believe your time is up."

Raozya felt as though winter had come early. He turned around to see Agent Brown standing near the back door, having leveled his stun gun on Raozya's head. "Oh."

"Hand over the Espurr and these people will be spared. Resist, and I'll pluck the Espurr from the wreckage of this train."

The rearmost train car, lacking its back wheels, began to swing outward as the train came upon a curve. Its frontal wheel structure pulled loose from the track, allowing it to swing out further and pull the preceding car from the track as well. This instigated a zipper effect that culminated in the entire train being pulled rear-first off the track in a free-fall toward the highway below.

Due to the different area they were in, the highway and railway were much closer together, making the fall much more moderate than it would have been earlier. The train landed on its side and began an uncontrolled skid across the pavement, kicking vehicles off the road like soccer balls. Agent Miller had been tossed at high velocity and collided with the side of a semi trailer, almost breaking it half and sending it tumbling off the road to meet its end as a dazzling fireball.

The train's impact threw the screaming passengers against a wall—now the floor—and knocked the stun gun from Agent Brown's hands. Amidst the chaos, Raozya managed to pull enough willpower together to jump up to the wall above him and yank open a door, pulling himself through. While unbelievably perilous, he felt as though an escape from the agents was of greater priority.

He stood atop the skidding train and spotted a passing semi, then readied himself for the longest jump of his life. "Joas! Levitate while in the backpack on my mark!"

With a muffled voice, Joas gave an affirmative.

Raozya leaped as soon as the semi had come close enough, commanding Joas to levitate. He floated above death itself for a brief moment that felt like an hour, all while his backpack appeared to be lifting of its own accord. The moment the semi's trailer was beneath his feet, he commanded Joas to stop levitating lest he overshoot. He dropped and landed atop the trailer, rolling a short distance and coming to a stop near the opposite edge.

He slowly pushed himself up, silently thanking the sky that he hadn't ended up as a giant red streak on the pavement. He looked back and watched as the train broke through the highway's elevated siding, crumpling the barriers like aluminum foil. The train careened into a cluster of fuel tanks and disappeared in a roaring fireball.

This had to be some sort of dream. Raozya's life NEVER had this kind of action. He was just a small town Pokémon Trainer with humble goals. Was the universe out to stop him? Was it really so bad that he wanted to have immeasurable wealth, fame, and to capture other Trainers to use as servants?

Raozya pushed himself into an upright position and sat cross-legged, relishing in the breeze that was rushing over the top of the semi. "Still breathing, guys?"

A muffled "Fenne!" and "Kill me now," were the responses that emanated from his backpack. He chuckled and shook his head.

A hand appeared over the back edge of the trailer, then another. Agent Brown hauled himself up and adjusted his scuffed red suit, popping his neck in the process. He was missing a large chunk from the right lens of his sunglasses, and his scowl spoke volumes of his disapproval without him uttering a word. He reached into a lapel pocket and excavated a new pair of sunglasses, replacing the older pair which he tossed to the road. Raozya could practically see the agent's confidence return; even his disheveled hair corrected itself.

Agent Brown struck a confident pose, fists balled and ready for combat.

Raozya wasn't quite sure what to make of the situation. His heart was still pounding out of his chest, and his brain was still struggling to grasp how he had survived his leap of death. "Guys. One of 'em survived."

"On behalf of Team Flare," started Agent Brown, reaching for his belt, "I challenge you to a Pokémon match."

An awkward pause followed. It took Raozya a few moments to realize that Agent Brown was missing his stun gun, explaining his willingness to battle with Pokémon. Before he could respond, a dusty meteor fell from the sky and collided with the trailer right next to Agent Brown.

It wasn't a meteor. A tattered and smoking Agent Miller stood up from the new dent beneath him, dusting himself off and adjusting his suit as well. He then struck the same confident battle pose as his associate. "We both challenge you."

"Domination."

Raozya rotated his hidden vulpine ears to hear the whispering, backpack-interred Joas more clearly. He looked down and muttered under his breath, "Wut."

"Use...the freaking _Domination_. Don't fall for their schemes. End this madness _now_. Blow off the end of the trailer."

Both agents remained unmoving in their pose, waiting for a response while having the unintended effect of making Raozya take them less seriously. Curious of Raozya's whispering and downward gaze, Agent Miller called out, "We await your decision."

"Uh, yeah, sorry, just muttering to myself. Gotta think this through." He turned his attention back to Joas, returning to a whisper. "I dunno, maybe I could go for a battle. It's a change of pace."

"_Imbecile_. Do you think they'll let you go if you win? That is a massive IF, by the way."

With his illusory capabilities, Raozya made it seem like he was still staring at the trailer, allowing him to turn around and get a better look at his surroundings without arousing suspicion. The four-lane highway was soon going to split in half, with the approaching fork sending either half in opposite directions. He turned back around and spotted another tractor-trailer heading along the adjacent lane that was to branch off in the opposite direction. He knew what he was going to do. "Levitate when I tell you to. Napalm, get ready."

"You...okay, fine." _What are you planning?_

Raozya locked eyes with Agent Miller, then Agent Brown. "Very well, I accept your challenge."

"Good." Agent Miller had slightly more energy in his otherwise droning voice.

"You may pick two Pokémon; we shall each pick one," finished Agent Brown.

Raozya nodded. "I'll start with one. Napalm, I choose you."

Napalm dove out of the backpack and took a stand in front of its master, facing the agents with a sneer and a challenging glare. Joas zipped the backpack shut again.

Agent Brown tossed his chosen Pokémon first. "Conkeldurr, fulfill your purpose."

The ogre-like Pokémon materialized ahead of the agent, its massive hands gripping a pair of short concrete pillars that it would almost assuredly be trying to flatten Napalm with in the near future. Its sadistic, drooling grin, frequent grunts, and heavy troglodyte brow foretold a truly savage beating.

The Fennekin struggled to keep its bladder from releasing. Raozya, on the other hand, stuck to his plan, using his peripheral vision to keep track of the other semi that was approaching from behind theirs.

Agent Miller was next. "Chesnaught, it's time for you to show them that this is our world and our time."

A tall, upright hedgehog-like creature materialized at Agent Miller's command. It appeared to be more of a royal guard than anything, sporting a sophisticated beige and green color scheme with a domed, spiked shell on its back. It stared coldly and bellowed its name at the Fennekin, more than audible over the roar of the vehicles on the highway.

There wasn't much Napalm could hope for beyond a quick, painless demise. It hoped its master wasn't using it as a sacrifice or a punching bag; but if that meant they would all make it out alive, even if on life support, then it was a risk worth taking.

The other semi drew closer, prompting Raozya to give Napalm its first orders. "Napalm, use Ember, wide-spread with plenty of smoke."

Napalm did just that. A curtain of fire exploded from the Fennekin's mouth, shrouding the opponents and making them and the agents shield themselves.

Raozya called Napalm back into its ball a moment before diving off the edge of the trailer and telling Joas to levitate. They landed on the next semi as the highway began to split, drifting away from the danger. To buy more time, Raozya created temporary illusion doppelgangers of himself and Napalm where they had once been.

Angered, Agent Miller called out, "Chesnaught, use Giga...wait a minute."

The illusions quickly blurred and dissipated.

Visibly displeased, Agent Brown clenched his teeth and fists. "Illusions."

"The Espurr helped its master escape," continued Agent Miller.

"But not for long."

"Our other eyes will find them..."

"...And deliver the appropriate punishment."


	3. Chapter 3

Raozya stayed atop the semi until it had exited the highway and reached a stoplight at an intersection. He hopped off and made his way across the parking lot of a gas station and behind the main building. Feeling sufficiently hidden, he leaned against the back wall and took a moment to let his heart take a side road as well.

A refreshing gust of wind danced through the great artificial canyons of the city's downtown district, helping to cool Raozya's burning muscles. Joas had taken residence upon Raozya's head to join in his cooldown; the backpack wasn't exactly a refrigerator.

One problem that couldn't be remedied by relaxation was the roiling hunger within their stomachs. Their plans to visit the seafood restaurant had been thoroughly shot down, and visiting any other restaurant would prove unnecessarily hazardous. They figured that their only option was to move deeper into the city and stay low for a while.

Napalm popped out of its Poké Ball and yipped at Raozya before curling up next to his leg. A gurgling noise emitted from its stomach; the same could be heard from the stomachs of Raozya and Joas a moment later.

The latter stared vacantly at a bottle on the ground, waiting for Raozya to say something relating to food. Filaments of psychic energy arced and skipped across the surface of the bottle and shattered it when Joas' stomach growled again. "Some thunderstorm we're having."

Raozya cringed. "I hear it, I hear it. We can't go anywhere too visible...although I do know of a place that has a nice secluded order window. Kinda hard to keep running when we're running on empty, too."

Joas' mouth curled into a faint grin. "I'm listening."

"It's a place called Lard Trough—"

"Oh dear."

"—and the food isn't terribly expensive, either. Yes, the name indicates grease. You would be correct on that assumption...but the burgers have so much flavor." _And mystery meat. And the anomalous intestinal effects._

Joas felt as though he was having to choose between a near-future death by starvation and a later death by atherosclerosis. On the other hand, maybe he would mutate and develop better psychic powers. "The owner probably weighs 300 pounds, doesn't he? Or she, perhaps."

"He does, thereabouts."

_Well, it's only one meal._ "I can already see myself learning Rollout from this."

"Lard Trough it is. Let's get going. I know the way from here."

Napalm darted back into Raozya's backpack, happy and ready to enjoy some lunch. Joas followed the Fennekin, prompting the latter to erupt back out and put itself back into its Poké Ball.

A sigh was puffed from Raozya's lips, and he took off into a nearby alleyway, knowing that the journey wasn't going to be the most sanitary one. The shortest and most secluded path led through a series of large waterways and culverts that crisscrossed the city, and there had been rumors about unsavory creatures that had recently occupied them. _Eh, those are probably just rumors that were started by Internet trolls._

• • •

Ripples spread across a brown puddle as Raozya plodded over it. The dark culvert was permeated by a musty stench with a hint of sweet rot—this was almost enough to rob Raozya and Joas of the will to eat.

Within the confines of Raozya's backpack, Joas kept a crumpled napkin pressed against his face in a largely futile effort to filter the air. The Zoroark's sweaty body wasn't helping in the least. "Raozya, I must say, your methods of travel are always fascinating. This place smells almost as delightful as you."

Raozya fought the desire to place his backpack underneath his saturated armpit. "Well thank you, little friend. I knew you'd enjoy it. I only pick the best for those I hold close to my heart."

That statement somehow amplified the stench in Joas' nostrils and made him heave in an attempt to empty his stomach of contents that weren't there. _That was a low blow, Zoroark_. "Yes, and you should cherish the fact that it's still beating."

"And beating with more passion as we draw nearer to our culinary destination!"

A muffled but enthusiastic "Fenne!" emitted from Napalm's Poké Ball. Joas decided not to respond to Raozya's riposte, his impish fun having been dampened beyond salvage.

A few more minutes of walking brought them to the end of the culvert, which opened up into the side of a large drainage canal that had only a small trickle of water running along the center. Several small piles of debris and trash were scattered about, with the majority having collected near the grates that half-covered the large exit culverts.

Raozya scanned the area to make sure nobody was watching. He put his foot out to take his first step, but yanked it back in when he saw a procession of Team Flare agents walking along a nearby road that crossed over the canal. There were mechanized units as well: three miniature spider tanks with an agent's head poking out of the top of an "abdomen" control cabin that jutted from the back of the tank's main body.

What appeared to be a senior officer approached one of the tanks from a different road. "Have you found anything suspicious yet?"

The tank stared at the officer with large, round eye sensors as it answered for its pilot, "No, sir! We haven't seen any sign of the targets!"

The voice that the tank's artificial intelligence programming produced was completely inappropriate for a military weapon such as itself: a high-pitched female voice with an abundance of cheer.

A scowl preceded the officer's response, "Unacceptable. Keep looking."

The tank and its pilot saluted in unison and made their way down another street.

Terrified of what he had just witnessed, Raozya shrank back into the culvert. "We'll have to find another way."

Joas popped his head out of the backpack to look around. "You don't say?"

"I saw some other culvert openings on the way here, so if we go back, we'll...we'll, uh..."

Raozya trailed off as he stared into the dark depths of the culvert. A vaguely humanoid shadow stumbled at a slow pace in their direction, making a barely-audible grunting noise. It continued until there was just enough light to allow Raozya and Joas to make out what it was.

For all intents and purposes, it was a walking corpse—emaciated, stumbling, groaning. The head was completely engulfed by what appeared to be a blue blob with wing-like protrusions hanging from the front.

Raozya held out his Pokédex, struggling to keep it steady due to his frazzled nerves. A tinny robotic voice called out, "Zombat, the walking dead Pokémon. Also called a Golbat zombie, this Pokémon is created when a Golbat fastens its entire mouth over someone's head. A special venom kills the host and creates a link between the body and the Golbat's brain, allowing total control. Zombat hates sunlight and typically wanders dark areas, stalking and dismembering anyone it comes across."

Nothing more needed to be said. Raozya had already propelled himself out of the culvert at high speed before the Pokédex had even finished talking. He was certain he had never run so fast before, entering the canal's large exit culvert in a matter of seconds.

This was unfortunate for Napalm, who had popped out of its Poké Ball to confront the Zombat a moment before Raozya had begun his sprint. It took a few seconds for the growling Fennekin to realize it had been left behind, and once it noticed, it took off after its master.

Another Zombat emerged from a smaller culvert that opened up into the main culvert, as well as a small swarm of Golbat. Raozya let out an effeminate shriek and procured his Domination stun gun from his backpack, leveling the weapon and squeezing the trigger madly. The Zombat disappeared in a shower of gore, as did numerous Golbat. The remaining three Golbat began pursuing Raozya after he had sped by.

As the gap between Napalm and its master began to shorten, it spotted the Golbat trio. Seeing that they were pursuing its master, it blasted them with an Ember attack and sent them fleeing into a different culvert.

Raozya sprinted to another drainage canal, this one being twice as large as the first. He jumped from the end of the culvert so fast that he couldn't catch his footing, so he tumbled down the slope and into the middle of the canal, coming to a hard stop against an abandoned refrigerator.

Intelligent enough not to repeat the embarrassing mistakes it witnessed, Napalm slowed itself and scampered down the slope. It did not go without incident, unfortunately: Napalm lost its footing on a loose stack of papers. It tumbled past Raozya and collided headfirst with the refrigerator, producing a loud _whack_.

Raozya pushed himself up in defiance of the throbbing pain in his lower back that was pushing him in reverse. Wondering what had just happened, he cast his gaze over his surroundings: dirty concrete, junk, and...Fennekin. "Napalm? Where'd you come from?"

The fire fox didn't respond.

Raozya shook his head and called Napalm back into its Ball. "Get some sleep, buddy."

It was then that he noticed his backpack had been sandwiched between his spine and the concrete. Knowing that the contents were likely displeased with such activity, he fought against his blaring survival instincts and called over his shoulder, "Hey Joas, you still alive?"

The Espurr's response was muffled almost to the point of being inaudible, "When this is all over...I'm going to show you where Cthulhu plays."

That little statement made Raozya wonder if his sleeping pills would be strong enough.

Before he could express his disapproval of Joas' offer, the area began to pulse with the sound of a helicopter's blades thunderously chopping through the air. The noise increased until the source made itself known by flying overhead. A black, wasp-like helicopter with red accents hung in the sky, wasting no time in training its forward machine gun on Raozya's position.

Raozya stared up at the war machine in disbelief. "Yeah, we'll do that later. I hear the Olympics calling again."

He took off a moment before the chopper unleashed a salvo of bullets that reduced the refrigerator to an expanding cloud of hot metal ribbons. With a smug smirk, the pilot engaged in a pursuit, attempting to cut Raozya off before he could reach an overpass that preceded the next set of culverts.

Tiny explosions of concrete weaved in and out of Raozya's path. As a result of a split-second decision, he dove into a large pile of junk that sat in the center of the canal. Although he was well aware that this would only buy him a few seconds of safety, physical protection was not the reason behind his decision.

Convinced of an impending victory and possible promotion, the gunner grinned and released his grip from the trigger, opting for a different approach. The helicopter soared overhead and looped around to drop a spherical bomb onto the trash heap. The bomb bounced along the ground before exploding, sending debris in every direction.

Some of the ballistic junk, including a washing machine, made an unexpected bee-line for the helicopter. The pilot panicked and maneuvered out of the way in time to avoid a direct hit, but the washing machine clipped the edge of the main rotor and gave it a jolt. The helicopter veered away from the target in a spiral before the pilot could regain control.

Enshrouded with purple energy, Joas floated in the air for a few more seconds before descending back into Raozya's backpack. Raozya thanked Joas before sprinting off to the next set of culverts.

A pair of Zombat were waiting for them, but they were converted into a starburst of salsa and bone fragments in short order by Raozya's Domination. Nothing was going to stop him. He had to escape this madness.

Without warning, a _pop_ noise rang out from Raozya's belt, along with a flash of light. He looked behind while running and saw his Eevee following him with a determined look on its face.

_Why do my Pokémon keep escaping?!_ "Eevee! Why'd you leave your Ball? It's kind of a bad time!"

"Vee!" blared the small fox creature as it sped ahead of its master.

Another Zombat appeared from an intersecting culvert ahead. The Eevee stopped a few feet away from it and struck a battle pose, tail puffed up and held high. It tensed every muscle in its little body harder than it had ever done before, determined to carry out its master's wish for it to use Self-Destruct.

Nothing but a _poot_ sound was produced, followed by the Eevee's sour expression of embarrassment. Unamused, the Zombat unleashed an inhuman howl and lunged at its tiny opponent, claws outstretched and ready for a brutal attack.

The Eevee disappeared as a stream of energy back into the Poké Ball that was being gripped by Raozya's outstretched hand. "Nice try! Still gotta work on that!"

With another firm squeeze of the Domination's trigger, Raozya obliterated the Zombat and continued his sprint down the dank tunnel.

They eventually came upon an intersection with a larger culvert, and further travel took them to a maintenance chamber that bisected it. No longer a tube, the culvert ran as a half-pipe canal through the middle of the floor of the large, cubical concrete room. A small, circular grate was situated on the right side of the arched ceiling, marking the ground level, and a ladder was mounted beneath it. It was large enough for perhaps two people to fit through and served as the only source of illumination for the otherwise tomb-like room.

Raozya vaulted over the lip of the culvert trench and made a mad dash for the ladder, unsure of how close his pursuers were and not terribly interested in becoming a Zombat's chew toy. He climbed up the rungs with surprising speed, but the grate that should have given way to his ballistic head refused to budge. He found himself sprawled out on the floor an instant later with a pulsing lump on his head and a derriere that didn't feel too much better.

Muttering angrily, Joas heaved himself out from the backpack that was now compressed underneath Raozya's back. "Perhaps eschewing a Poké Ball was a mistake on my part. Better to be rattled in a tiny sphere than to be crushed by a giant idiot."

_All of my ache...and salted wounds._ "Ghhh...enough poetry. Cat thing, blast the grate with all of your hate."

Joas narrowed his eyes and scampered over to the lowest rung of the ladder. He peered up and found a reason to turn his soured expression into a full-blown scowl. "There is a car blocking it. How could you possibly miss that?"

"Enthusiasm."

"Brilliant strategy. Should I reward you with a banana or a Slowpoke treat?"

"Reward me with your most magnificent Psyshock, preferably aimed up at the grate."

Joas couldn't think of any appropriate retorts at the moment, and time was running short in any case. He focused his attention on the grate and spread out his arms, charging himself with purple wisps of psychic energy.

A _pop_ sound broke his concentration. The culprit Eevee darted past Joas and scaled the ladder all the way to the top, fastening itself to the topmost rung with its forelegs. Again, it focused all of its energy on exploding, but the result was the same as earlier: an exceptionally audacious outburst of flatulence.

Unimpressed, Joas turned his gaze to Raozya once more, who was still sprawled out. "The brown creature is in the way. May I put it out of its misery, at the same time removing an object of shame from your life?"

Raozya held out the proper Poké Ball and called his Eevee back. "I admire your tenacity, Eevee. Good work. Two pickles are in your future. Now, Joas, unleash the floodgates of psychokinetic disgruntlement."

Joas shook his head in disgust and turned his attention back to the grate above. His small body became wreathed in a hazy purple glow while his eyes shone like miniature suns.

A plume of blinding energy erupted from the manhole with the force of a volcano, sending the grate and the car into the clouds above. Seeing the deed accomplished, Raozya crammed Joas into his backpack again and scrambled up the ladder. The Espurr didn't even bother complaining about this repeated indignity—he knew it wouldn't teach Raozya the lesson he needed to learn. That's what superweight Pokémon laxatives were for, but perhaps he would save those for next time. At least Raozya's actions were partially justified by the situation at hand.

Raozya peeked over the edge of the opening to scan for potential enemies. Aside from a few terrified bystanders, he could see no Team Flare thugs. Figuring it was only a matter of time before they investigated the colossal psychic discharge, he launched himself out and sped into the nearest alleyway.

That particular area of the city featured more walkways and plazas than streets. Shops were in no short supply, and the walls and storefronts were cluttered with holographic store logos and advertisements. The alley that Raozya had thrown himself into connected a street to a crowded plaza and had only a few small trash cans useful for cover should the need arise. Not willing to take that chance, Raozya sought to lose himself in the crowd.

He ran to the end of the alley and peeked from behind a trash can. He could see nothing but a swarm of average city dwellers, dressed casually and shopping diligently. _The coast seems clear._

Another trash can that sat a few feet away went off in a burst of multicolored garbage. Before Raozya could turn to look, he was already airborne, careening over the plaza with a massive boot print on his left buttock. The red-suited source of the kick wasted no time in sprinting after his flying target, intent on pummeling Raozya once he had landed somewhere near the center of the circular plaza.

The next thing the Team Flare agent saw was a rapidly approaching wall of pavement. He had lost his footing thanks to a ball that a frolicking child had rolled in front of him, and now his forward momentum guaranteed a truly spectacular collision with the concrete. This was confirmed when his face impacted with enough force to send cracks zigzagging dozens of feet away, concurrently extinguishing his consciousness and reducing his sunglasses to the consistency of sand.

Eevee took Raozya's state of being airborne as an opportunity to pop out of its Poké Ball yet again. The small creature hopped on a bystander's head before coming to a stop on the ground a few seconds before Raozya did. During this brief period of time, it caught a few glimpses of a TV that sat within a nearby military surplus merchant stand. The screen was filled with explosions of every kind and flooded the Eevee's head with a resolve that it had never before experienced, amplified by the knowledge that its master was being threatened by dangerous thugs.

Raozya's landing was followed by a roll and ended with him right back on his feet. Despite the murderous pain in his aft end, he continued in his mad dash and entered another alley. A more literal murderous sensation pervaded Joas' mind due to the fact that he had once again been smashed as a result of Raozya's rolling, which also reminded him once again of the potential beauty of a protective Poké Ball. As much as he enjoyed tormenting Raozya about swallowing his pride, the Espurr himself would have to do so and ask for his own spherical apartment.

An important realization made Raozya come to a sudden stop in the middle of the littered passage: There was a brick wall where there should have been an exit. Hoping against hope, his eyes darted all around for some sort of exit, but they saw nothing but brick walls. Even the doorways and windows had been sealed with bricks. "Great, dead end."

Joas popped his head out from the backpack and scanned the area, hoping to assist Raozya in finding an escape route. While he didn't find anything of the sort right away, he did spot a black cat crossing the entrance of the alley. He didn't think much of it until an identical cat followed it. _Huh, that's odd. A bad omen?_

In an act of pure desperation, Raozya checked every dumpster and trash can for a place to hide. His nose curled when he saw that they, too, had been filled to the top with bricks. _Why are there neatly-arranged bricks with mortar in these cans?!_

His Eevee scampered up behind him, circled his feet and stopped while facing back toward the alley's entrance. Its subsequent battle stance and growling told Raozya that they weren't alone.

He wanted to scream in frustration, but instead he calmly turned to face the source of the Eevee's apprehension. Five Team Flare agents now stood at the mouth of the alley, still as statues and staring through their trademark sunglasses. Raozya's desire to scream increased exponentially, but he decided to compromise by doing so inside his head.

"Mister Raozya," called Agent Miller, "do you understand why we are here?"

Raozya sneered, resisting the temptation to drop his disguise and fight them as a Zoroark—doing so would almost assuredly expose him to capture, and not just by the Team Flare goons. _Just ONE Dark Pulse and these guys would be in orbit._ "I know you envy my pickle supply, but the joke's on you! I ran out earlier!"

"Your jesting is unnecessary," continued Agent Brown. "Our presence here is a symbol of inevitability."

"You cannot hide your Espurr any longer..." called a female agent.

"...because it is our purpose to procure it," said another male.

Their unwavering persistence and hive-minded speech had gotten on Raozya's last nerve. This needed to end _now_. In a burst of rage-fueled agility, his slipped off his backpack and went for the Domination. The stun gun was already peeking out the top thanks to Joas' forward thinking.

He didn't have time to fire a shot. The Eevee catapulted itself ahead as a brown blur and jumped into the crowd of agents, bellowing a war cry that consisted of its name.

The Eevee disappeared in a blinding flash of fire and smoke. The blast tore gaping holes in the adjacent buildings and sent debris hundreds of feet in every direction. The agents, as well as dozens of bystanders, were scattered like human confetti. Many of them became lodged in the sides of buildings while others soared to other parts of the city.


	4. Chapter 4

Raozya regained consciousness a few minutes later in a pile of shattered bricks. The fiery pain in his spine almost prevented him from pushing himself up from his stomach, but he did so without complaint. He swiveled his head to examine the area, noticing that he was laying in a debris field in the next plaza. Further investigation brought his attention to a large hole where the obstructive brick wall had once been.

A tiny cough pulled Raozya's attention to his left. His Eevee was sprawled out on the pavement next to him and covered in soot. It was barely awake and featured comical curlicues where its eyes would normally be. Without a doubt, it was down for the count.

A contented grin traversed Raozya's face. He called the Eevee back into its Ball and stuck it on his belt, patting it. "I'd say five pickles now, and a name. I'm thinking...Salvo."

Salvo's Poké Ball gave a weak twitch in approval.

Raozya nodded. "I agree. Now we just need to find a place to lay low for a while." His stomach growled. "And maybe find something to eat."

A quick look around gave Raozya the realization that food was the least of his worries. Several people were standing nearby with wide-eyed stares, pointing at him and muttering to each other as though they were seeing something out of a horror movie.

Raozya was puzzled until he looked at his hands. Either one had three red claws and was covered in gray fur. _Oh, that's not good._

His lack of consciousness had brought him out of his illusory disguise, and the people were seeing him in his true Zoroark form. Terrified, he hopped to his feet and shapeshifted into the first thing his eyes spotted: the ridiculous mascot of a nearby food stand.

He now appeared as an exaggerated human child with a gigantic head and a gaping mouth that still showed his real face. Unaware of the latter fact, he danced around in circles, trying to seem as happy as possible. "Sorry for the scare, folks! This is a holographic mascot suit that lets me change into anything! I'm just a normal human being like all of you! Look how happy I am!"

The crowd gradually stopped pointing and began to smile instead. Satisfied with what they were seeing, they gave a hearty round of applause, nodding and giving the occasional thumbs-up. Raozya continued to dance vigorously as, one by one, the onlookers went back to their original business of wandering the shopping plaza, each with a new and positive outlook on life.

"Raozya, this reminds me of something." Joas popped his head out from the former's backpack. He had just come out of a miniature coma a moment before Raozya had donned the new disguise and begun dancing. "Why didn't you just change your disguise earlier? Can the number of headaches we could have avoided even be numbered? AND FOR THE LOVE OF ARCEUS, STOP DANCING."

Raozya transformed his dance into a brisk walk that he would be using to take them to a different district. He was also aware that Joas had made a good point, but he wasn't going to admit it. "Let's not focus on the past. We have a bright future ahead."

"Bright like the autopsy lights in the coroner's lab?"

"Even brighter, my friend. Even brighter."

• • •

"Jessie, could we maybe start thinking about a career change?"

James' whiny comment shoved the final dagger of apprehension into Jessie's already abysmal patience. "James, would you stop griping already!? We can't give up after all this time! We just need to think of better strategies for catching that Pikachu! The incident at Parfum Palace was unavoidable!"

The blue-haired Team Rocket member recoiled, taken aback by his red-headed female teammate's angry assumption. "That's not what I was talking about! Didn't you hear about that new guy Giovanni is interested in?"

Jessie let out a stressed sigh, turning her eyes up to the mountainous skyscrapers overhead. "I must have missed the memo."

"I read about it, too!" interjected Meowth, the third member of the trio. "It was on da Team Rocket website today!"

The fact that Jessie had been left out of the loop brought a grimace to her face and made her clench her fists.

James continued, "See, a few days ago, a couple of our local scouts ambushed a guy who had an Espurr with him. The Espurr stunned one of them with its incredible power, making her feel as though she was being launched through deep space for eighteen hours even though it had only been a matter of seconds. Then its owner pulled out an overpowered stun gun and _vaporized_ the other one! He was turned to a cloud of meaty _mist_, Jessie!"

A small child ran along the sidewalk, nearly tripping Jessie and amplifying her bad mood. "Watch it, you little twerp! Anyway, that story sounds exaggerated."

James shook his head. "Our forensic analysts visited the site and confirmed his DNA from the bone fragments scattered about. They only started talking about it today."

Jessie's initial response was an incredulous huff. The story still sounded ridiculous, but she couldn't exactly argue with the Team Rocket forensics department. "Too bad it couldn't have been Cassidy. The world could use less people like her."

"But Jessie, think about it!" Meowth said this right before jumping to the side to avoid being trampled by another pedestrian. "If we could catch dat Espurr, not only will we have da undying respect of da boss, we'll get a promotion! He might even forget about our colossal debt!"

Jessie opened her mouth to speak, but James chimed in first. "I'd usually find that hard to believe, but he did seem very enthusiastic about it in the article."

This piqued Jessie's interest. It would certainly be a nice change of pace from pursuing that wretched Pikachu, and maybe it would even be easier. "Well, if the boss wants it, he'll get it! We'll temporarily drop our search for Pikachu and start looking for Espurr!"

James' expression denoted more fear than excitement. "The thing is, all Pikachu ever did to us was shock us with thousands of volts every time we encountered it. Espurr, on the other hand, knows powerful psychic attacks, and its owner has a scary gun."

Jessie shot a sharp glance to her partner. "And how do we counter a Psychic-type?"

Meowth hopped up and down, flailing his paws. "Oooh! Oooh! You get a Ghost-type!"

"Exactly. All we have to do is capture a few of those and we'll be ready to go!"

"But Ghost-types themselves are hard to catch!" James blurted this while wringing his hands in fear. "And this means we'll have to visit all those spooky old towers and mansions. Things can pop out from anywhere!"

Before Jessie could scold him for being an irrational coward, a large mass strolled out from an alleyway ahead of the Team Rocket trio. James was the first to catch sight of it, and he displayed nothing short of horror. "Aah! A giant child eating a Zoroark!"

Caught off-guard, Raozya stared back at James with an expression of disbelief that morphed into shock. _OH MY GOODNESS._

Initially unsure of how to handle the situation, Raozya created the illusion of bright sunlight reflecting off a passing car's windshield. The light blinded the Team Rocket trio just long enough for Raozya to shift his appearance back to his usual Pokémon Trainer self.

Jessie rubbed her eyes before glaring daggers at the person who was obstructing their way, but her anger was quickly replaced with confusion. "Wait, wasn't there a hideous mascot standing right here?"

James scratched his head. "I know I saw one. Where did it go?"

Before Raozya could point them in the wrong direction, Meowth pointed a clawed finger in his. "Hey, wait a second! Dat's da guy with da Espurr!"

Without warning, Joas floated out of Raozya's backpack and hovered above his head. Never before had he possessed such an intense desire to berate Raozya for being so stupid as to go back to his usual form, but he couldn't find the words. Instead, he focused his anger purely upon Team Rocket, staring at the trio with an even more disturbing vacancy than usual.

At that point, Raozya had opened his mouth to speak again, but Joas cut him off. "Well if it isn't Messy and Lames of Team Ruckus. How does today's brew of failure taste? Mild? Strong? I can certainly help you make it stronger."

Jessie's jaw dropped. "Did...did that Espurr just talk?"

"And it insulted us!" James' voice carried more than a little indignation.

"I think it's time for da team theme!" declared Meowth.

Having completely forgotten about the true dangers of the average Espurr, let alone one of Joas' caliber, the trio struck their usual pre-battle pose and began to recite their team anthem.

The sound of their self-righteous words put a damper on Raozya's mood as his fully soured expression denoted. _I don't have time for these idiots._

They hadn't even gotten to the part about denouncing the evils of truth and love before they began to levitate off the ground. Menacing filaments of purple energy danced between them and Joas, the latter of which sported eyes that glowed like tiny suns. What appeared to be solar prominences wafted away from his small body, causing Raozya to step back in terror of what he figured was Joas' most profound display of intimidation to date.

This was nothing but a carnival ride for Joas. Pure happiness flowed through his veins as he charged up for a truly devastating psychic strike—one that he hoped would be sufficient to send these sniveling Team Rocket pests into low orbit.

Unbeknownst to Joas, there would be no flash from a psychic catapult or maniacal laughter blasting from his mouth. Instead, a pillar of white-hot fire erupted from behind Raozya, sending Team Rocket careening through several skyscrapers and into the stratosphere. A collective "Team Rocket's blasting off agaiiiiin...!" could barely be made out amongst the successive thunderous impacts with the buildings before their screaming voices trailed off to nothing.

"Nice job, Braixen!"

Still shaking, Raozya turned around to face the source of the new voice. His shaking ceased when he got a good look at the guy, who appeared to be somewhere in the vicinity of 400 pounds and no older than the age of sixteen. The black shirt with a smiling ice cream cone graphic on the front wasn't exactly screaming 'diet', either. _Whoa, did a sumo wrestler just annihilate Team Rocket? Can sumo wrestlers be that young?_

Joas also turned, but with a look that conveyed nothing but unbridled rage. The looping wisps of psychic energy continued to flow around him for a few more seconds before finally dying down. _Consider yourself spared a gruesome fate, chubby commoner. That was my kill._

The rotund boy smiled at the two and waved frantically. "Hey, guys! I'm Tierno! I couldn't help but notice you were being attacked by Team Rocket, so I had Braixen here send 'em packing!"

The bipedal fire-themed fox creature repeated the physical portion of its master's greeting. It certainly fit the bill for being one of Tierno's Pokémon as well, almost matching him with its abnormally corpulent shape. Raozya wondered how it was able to _stand_, let alone produce such a powerful Flamethrower attack. _I didn't know Braixen could get that heavy._

Raozya snapped out of his haze of disbelief. "Uh, yeah, cool Braixen you got there! Thank you! I'm Raozya, and this Espurr here is my buddy Joas."

The latter didn't even bother to correct Raozya on the "buddy" comment. He simply floated over to Raozya's backpack and sealed himself inside without a word, still annoyed by the likelihood that Team Rocket had survived their flight instead of burning up in atmospheric reentry sometime during the next week. He was also disappointed with himself in that he had allowed his penchant for sarcastic remarks to reveal his speech ability to someone other than Raozya, even worse in that he had done it in front of Team Rocket a second time. _Perhaps Raozya's mental deficiency is sapping my own mental function._

"Glad to meet ya, Raozya! You know, I—"

Raozya cut him off. "Hey, before we get into one of those long 'new friendship' conversations, do you know of any Pokémon Centers around here? Preferably one that's in a back alley so nobody can see me? I'm...sorta being followed, and not by Team Rocket."

Tierno recoiled. "You wouldn't be talking about...Team Flare?"

"Yeah. They're kind of a pain. Also, my Fennekin needs medical attention, and I don't think I have anything to treat concussions."

Without another question, Tierno grabbed Raozya by the hand and led him to a different alley nearby. "C'mon, I'm got a hideout! The entrance is this way!"

Befuddled as to how a guy so large was running so fast, Raozya nonetheless decided to go along with him. Maybe he was onto something. "Uh, okay."

"By the way, I'm gonna call you R-Meister from now on!"

"Please don't."

Tierno called his waddling Braixen back into its Poké Ball. "Don't worry about a thing, R-Meister! I've got it all under control!"

Raozya began to doubt his decision heavily.

• • •

Tierno hopped over the lip of an empty dumpster in a particularly dark alley between two colossal buildings. Raozya's eyebrows ascended in surprise after the kid disappeared through the false bottom of the dumpster.

He followed Tierno down a ladder after shutting the dumpster's lid and false bottom, ending up in a poorly lit and stale-smelling concrete room. Tierno flicked a switch on the wall, prompting the darkness to retreat as a series of tube lights illuminated the large room. The lights revealed several old subway benches that lined the walls, as well as a single train segment on the other side.

They boarded the train and rode for what felt like a mile, finally stopping at a subway station. The train's presence triggered a sensor that activated the lights on the ceiling, granting view of the station's grand chamber.

Tierno left the operator's cabin and opened the door, ushering Raozya out with a ridiculous smile. "You first, R-Meister! It's not too much further now!"

Silently fuming, Raozya stepped out onto the smooth tiled floor and let his eyes wander. The station seemed remarkably well-kept for a place that he figured had been abandoned long ago. There was no sunlight spilling in from the staircase to the surface—indeed, it had been paved over. The outdated colors and décor could have come out of a classic movie. _This kid probably keeps it spotless by himself. Poor guy._

Tierno led Raozya across the main commute area of the station, prancing along with the grace of a gazelle and sending chills down Raozya's spine. He arrived at a heavy metal door on the far wall and pushed it open, revealing a simple office. There wasn't much to look at besides a desk, a chair, and a large filing cabinet near the back. Once the cabinet had been slid aside, a man-sized tunnel could be seen.

_Impressive._ "I can tell this isn't just a clubhouse."

Tierno looked back at his new friend with a smirk. "Heh, you haven't seen anything yet."

The tunnel angled down and led them a hundred feet to another chamber. This one stood apart from the previous concrete areas in that it had curved walls that were lined with dark metal panels and supports. The metal floor was covered with a veritable forest of shelving, with a few open areas for dining and entertainment. Electronic equipment was everywhere, but had a heavier concentration in the right side of the oblong, tubular room. Raozya felt as though he had stepped into a submarine, but with far more amenities and space.

Tierno stepped onto a floral welcome mat and placed his fists on his hips. "Welcome to my home, R-Meister. This is where I keep an eye on Team Flare's activities and relay the information to the other people in my network."

"Network? There's more of you?" _And are they as large?_

"Yup! We've been fighting the Flares for some time now! We really give them a run for their money!"

Raozya scratched an itchy spot on his left ear, which made him appear to be scratching thin air since his true ear extended past his illusory human disguise. "That's interesting. How, exactly?"

"I'll show ya."

Tierno led Raozya to a dense concentration of computer monitors that filled most of the end of the proverbial submarine, akin to a futuristic control center or cockpit. The oversized chair creaked as he lowered his bulk onto the cushions, and he began ticking away at a keyboard. "We play lots of psychological games on 'em. Computer viruses, misplaced files, humiliating images, false reports—all kinds of good stuff. Several operatives of theirs have been fired over the misunderstandings we started. Some even suffered personal relationship problems, like breakups and divorces."

A warm tear traveled down Joas' cheek. He had heard some inspiring things during his life, but this was truly a work of poetry. _That's so...evil. I'm beginning to like this guy._

Raozya nodded in approval. "I'm actually kind of impressed. By the way, I may have mentioned a Pokémon Center earlier. I think you were there for that conversation, too."

"Oh!" Tierno hauled himself out of the chair and made his way to the other side of the room. "Yeah, I have stuff!"

Raozya followed the spunky teenager to a small open area with a pair of machines sitting in the center. One was a Poké Ball transfer machine similar to the one he had used in the strip mall earlier, and the other was a short rectangular machine with two rows of three pits running along its otherwise flat top.

Tierno's manic smile now faced Raozya. "You said your Pokémon had a stomach ache, right?"

Raozya flatbrowed. "Concussion, possible brain trauma." This was an assumption on his part. In actuality, Napalm had merely been knocked out and would probably experience nothing more than a headache once it had awakened.

"Cool! Yeah, this shorter machine should cure your Pokémon's compression—"

"Concussion."

"—and fix it right up! All you have to do is place the Poké Ball in one of those pits and I'll start it up."

Legitimately afraid that Tierno was going to kill his Pokémon out of sheer ignorance, Raozya went in defiance of his screaming conscience and placed the Poké Balls of Napalm and Salvo onto the machine. Tierno pulled a clear lid over the top and pressed a large red button on the side, subsequently clapping his hands and giggling.

It was like listening to a jet engine spin up to speed. The machine rattled violently as the containment chamber flooded with brilliant ribbons of high-voltage electricity. Raozya figured he would need to get a new Fennekin and Eevee after this, imagining their Poké Balls producing nothing but a puff of cremated remains rather than a proper materialization. In that case, he would be sure to tip Team Flare off to Tierno's hideout and wait for them to rain a very satisfying punishment upon the teenager's beanie-adorned head.

The machine's unsettling activity cut off abruptly. Still grinning like a moron, Tierno lifted the steaming lid from the machine and handed Raozya the Poké Balls.

Raozya stared at them for a few seconds, watching tiny lightning bolts arc between them periodically. Despite his misgivings, he grabbed them with cautious hands, waiting to experience a burning sensation that Tierno must have been too ignorant to feel.

No such sensation came about. Pleasantly surprised, Raozya held the Balls at arm's length and aimed them at the floor. "Come on out, guys. Let's see if this worked."

A pair of _pop_ noises preceded the occupants' materialization. Salvo appeared first—its fur was puffed up to the point of making it resemble a basketball, but otherwise Raozya could see no problems. It yipped its species name and sat on its haunches, smiling up at its master despite feeling dazed.

Napalm appeared next, taking the form of a shivering ball of yellow fur. It was also larger than normal. Finally realizing that its ordeal was over, Napalm darted over to Raozya's leg and clung to it for dear life. "S-sen! Braixen brai!"

Tierno's eyes lit up with glee. "Oh, cool! You have a Braixen, too!"

Raozya's expression could not have displayed a mixture of confusion and shock more clearly than it already was. Napalm's plaintive whining wasn't exactly a mood booster, either. "I...had a Fennekin."

"WhooAAAAAHHOOoooo! Breakthrough!"

Raozya recoiled slightly upon witnessing Tierno's excitement. The boy's face had contorted into such an extreme expression of happiness that Raozya found it flat-out disturbing, almost inhuman. _Where does he get his energy? Is that the result of a steady diet of Pikachu meat or something?_

Still rather dazed, Salvo uneasily scampered over to Napalm and attempted to comfort it. The latter reluctantly pulled away from its master's comforting pant leg, leaving a trail of snot hanging between its nose and the soggy spot its tears had made on the denim. Now substantially taller as a bipedal Braixen, Napalm had to look down instead of ahead in order to make eye contact. Their eyes filled with tears, and Salvo threw itself into Napalm's arms, resulting in a tearful embrace.

Their tender moment was cut short when they both disappeared as streams of energy, having been called back into their respective Poké Balls by a blank-faced Raozya. He wasn't exactly sure what to make of the situation, but he figured it would probably require hours of therapy for his beleaguered little companions...and maybe himself.

To make matters even worse, he began to feel a poking sensation on his back. Joas' backpack-muffled voice followed shortly thereafter, "Hey, uh, by the way...I've been thinking. I need my own Poké Ball. I'm sick of being crushed by your odorous bulk."

Raozya's brain was not ready for that kind of statement. Indeed, he wondered if he was even hearing Joas correctly. Was this a hallucination brought on by something in that room, or perhaps stress? Had Joas finally swallowed his ego? Was it even possible to swallow something that large?

Failing to find the right words, he responded with a simple "Oh, I see."

Unfortunately, his words had the effect of bringing Tierno back from his blissful trance. The chubby teenager locked eyes with Raozya's like a predator stares down a future meal. Despite Raozya having previously thought that Tierno's smile had reached the upper limit for its creep factor, it was now somehow even creepier than before. "See what?"

The floodgates of panic had been opened. Raozya now realized that he had just responded to Joas in front of a stranger. The secret was already out with Team Rocket, but he didn't want it to spread any further...especially with Tierno. "I, uh, see that I need pickles. Do you have pickles?" _Oh, beautiful recovery._

"Of course!"

_BEAUTIFUL._ Raozya produced a wide smile and allowed Tierno to lead the way, now thankful for the kid's inordinate obliviousness. At least he would be getting a pickle or two from his blunder, something that he hadn't tasted all day.

Although Joas was rather ashamed at himself for putting Raozya into the position of blowing the 'talking Espurr' secret, he also wanted to chide him for falling prey to the mistake so easily. He decided to do so later, though; a pickle would suffice for now.

Tierno approached what could have easily been mistaken for one of those giant air conditioning units that belonged atop an office building, but with something like a sectional garage door on the front. Raozya believed it to be an AC unit until Tierno began to lift the large door.

Cold air rushed past Raozya's feet, but this would go unnoticed due to the fact that his entire attention was now focused on the ridiculous expanse of food that now lay in his field of vision.

Tierno reached inside for a black bag that looked large enough to line the inside of a dumpster. He heaved it over to Raozya and removed the oversized twist-tie from the top, then pulled the bag open.

Raozya had been expecting one, maybe two pickles earlier. This bag was filled with nothing but pickles, individually wrapped and bearing his favorite name brand. He now understood why Tierno was so massive, and he could find no blame to bestow for this.

Raozya ended up consuming thirty of the sour treats, and the presence of other such bags in Tierno's fridge declared that the supply would not be running dry anytime soon.

This crunchy feast was also partaken of by Joas and an immensely thankful Salvo. Napalm wasn't particularly enthusiastic about pickles, or sour food in general, but the revelation that Tierno also kept a stock of jalapeño poppers effectively erased each and every worry that had been brought about by the day's strenuous events.

Once everything had been said and done, the fridge door was closed. Tierno directed his attention back to Raozya and fired off a lesser but still creepy smile. "By the way, R-Meister, since Team Rocket and Team Flare are following you, maybe you should lay low for a while. I've got an extra room you can use!"

Raozya stretched and popped his back, wincing a bit from the latter motion. "Thanks for the offer, but I already have a hotel room that's been paid for in advance. I also need to train in preparation for a gym battle I hope to engage in soon—"

Tierno produced a game box from seemingly nowhere and held it uncomfortably close to Raozya's face. "We could play Call of Modern Battlefield 8! The room you're gonna stay in has a PlayCube 360 Advanced with a huge TV and surround sound!"

Raozya elevated his eyebrows in consideration. He had played and enjoyed the previous installment of the game franchise, but this one was new to him. Perhaps he could indulge in a bit of game play before heading out. "Maybe for ten minutes."

• • •

An animated kaleidoscope of color spilled out from the TV and provided illumination for the otherwise dark room. The vigorous ticking of game controller buttons could be heard during the scarce few moments when the game wasn't producing floor-rattling explosions and other action sounds.

A small junkyard of wrappers and discarded soda bottles littered the floor around Tierno and Raozya—a figurative battlefield as a result of the gaming streak that had just hit its eleventh hour.

Joas attempted to force himself to ignore the clock on the wall, but to no avail. Midnight had come and gone, now approaching the next hour. The disgust that had entangled his insides threatened to manifest as a psychic vortex that would destroy everything in the room if Joas allowed it. The idea was certainly tempting.

The time had come for his lengthy silence to end. The Espurr became wreathed in purple energy and floated over to Raozya, coming close to the ear that was opposite Tierno. Using his psychic powers, he directed and amplified his otherwise whispered voice into Raozya's ear. "Raozya, this is the Voice of Logic. You have neglected to return to your hotel room, and your handsome Espurr is lacking a Poké Ball that had been requested several hours ago. You also failed to do your evening training. What is your next course of action? And for the love of Arceus, don't respond out loud."

Raozya muttered something unintelligible as his game character dispatched an enemy with a helicopter's rotor blade that was being used as a makeshift sword. A few seconds passed before his brain recognized Joas' facial noises as speech. "Uh huh."

Joas knew Raozya hadn't been listening, and judging by the way his eyes were glazed-over and the drop of saliva that was gently hanging from his lower lip, there was barely any sentient thought occupying the Zoroark's head.

Begrudgingly accepting defeat, Joas floated back over to the pillow he had been lounging on and decided to go ahead and get some sleep. There was no sense in wasting even more time hoping for a constructive response from his absorbed Trainer. All he could do was close his eyes and try not to dream about a homicidal outburst that could very well manifest in the real world.


End file.
